AKA Kelly Brianne Clarkson
Race or Ethnicity: White
Sexual orientation: Straight
Occupation: Singer, Actor
Nationality: United States
Executive summary: First winner of American Idol
Born in Fort Worth and raised in the decent, God-fearing town of Burleson, Kelly Clarkson grew up with no other ambition than to serve humanity in the respectable vocation of marine biologist. Tragically, these honorable intentions were to be abandoned forever when, at the onset of her vulnerable teen years, the young girl found herself seduced by the deceits and distortions of the corporate celebrity machine. The greenhouse for this bitter weed was the same that had started so many other promising teens on the path towards perdition: the school choir. By the time of her graduation from high school, Clarkson’s will was wholly overcome by these impure urges, and she immediately set out to sign her freedom away to the first record label that would have her.
In keeping with the usual methods employed by the predatory “entertainment” cabal, a period of constant rejection was arranged for the aspiring singer, forcing her to resort to a series of unrewarding, menial jobs in order to survive. This, of course, is used to compromise the good judgement of celebrity hopefuls by adding desperation to fuel the already powerful impetus of self-promoting ambition, as well as weakening their character by encouraging the notion that they have “paid their dues” in some way, and are therefore entitled to their later elevated status. After relocating to Hollywood, Clarkson was dropped a few crumbs to keep her on her wayward course (including an appearance as an extra on the television series Sabrina the Teenage Witch); but, after a few such taunting gestures, she was left to return to Burleson in defeat.
Back in Texas, Clarkson found work promoting the low-grade amphetamine substitute “Red Bull”; at this time she was made aware of a newly-conceived method of ensnaring hapless youngsters into the web of celebrity degradation, more potent and insidious than any that had come before it. A new spin on the so-called “reality TV” genre was being launched under the name American Idol, in which recognition-desperate contestants would be pitted against each other while the viewing audience wallowed in their public humiliation (perpertrated, of course, by bitter music industry victims that the corporate system had already irredeemably corrupted). Clarkson threw herself into the fray, and was ultimately chosen as the top contender. A recording contract with RCA was given as part of her award, and the notoriety attached to the program helped to push her debut single A Moment Like This (2002) up to the #1 position on the pop music charts.
The singer’s full-length album Thankful materialized in April of 2003, and so persistant was her new-found popularity that both it and her second single Miss Independent (co-written by mouseketeer-turned-sex-kitten Christina Aguilera) followed A Moment Like This to the top of the charts. Never ones to leave any milk lingering in a willing cow, her corporate handlers further capitalized on the American Idol craze by releasing a feature film pairing her with fellow Idol contestant Justin Guarini, From Justin To Kelly, later that same year. Her next several singles — Low, The Trouble With Love, Breakaway, and Since U Been Gone — consistently entered the top 10, and her second album Breakaway reached platinum sales a few months after its release at the end of 2004. Given such results for its first victor, is beyond question that the American Idol grinder will find no lack of fresh meat for years to come.
Father: Jimmy Taylor (stepfather)
Brother: Jason (b. 1973)
Sister: Alyssa (b. 1976)
Boyfriend: Brandon Blackstock (engaged to be married)
High School: Burleson High School, Burleson, TX (2000)
American Idol Winner, 1st Season (2002)
FILMOGRAPHY AS ACTOR
From Justin to Kelly (20-Jun-2003) · Kelly